The Camping Trip; Part Four

"The Camping Trip" is a five day series, consisting of five different parts, to be presented daily--the 18th to the 22nd--from five different vantage points. If you get behind, don't worry because they'll be on here for good. If you want to get ahead, you're out of luck, because I'm making this up as I go. This is Part Four. If you haven't read Part One, Two, or Three they are directly below. Enjoy.

MANDY
When we got back from the canoe ride I just wanted to change my clothes and wash my hair. I figured the washhouse would probably be filthy but I couldn’t imagine it being any dirtier than my hair. It was tangled and smelled like a dirty river. So I walked up to Mark’s car and Leo was sitting in the driver’s seat. My stuff was on the passenger seat so I opened the door and grabbed it. Leo was listening to music.
“Take a seat,” he said.
“Are you alright?” I asked him.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You had quite a meltdown out there,” I said, and immediately regretted bringing it up.
“It happens to the best of us,” he said. “So what’s going on with you and Mark?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if we should even be together anymore. He’s just so stubborn. He always does whatever he wants to do.”
“Just give him time. He’s an interesting guy, and he’s got a lot of issues from his folks and all of that sort of stuff…but who doesn’t?”
“I really said something I shouldn’t have.”
“What’s that?”
“I called him a drunk, like his father…said I should leave him like his mother left his father.”
“Let’s just hope he was too drunk to remember that,” he said. “There’s a pretty good chance…he’s passed out in the canoe down by the river.”
“I feel really bad. I just want the best for him. I shouldn’t have said what I did about his dad, but I couldn’t think of any other way to get through to him.”
Then he turned down the music. “I’m guessing you’re getting your stuff so you can go wash your hair,” he said, referring to my shampoo and conditioner.
“Yeah.”
“Does your hair always look or feel the way you want it to?”
“No. I feel like it never does. Only when I spend a lot of time on it does it work out how I like it to.”
“Think of Mark like your hair.”
“What?”
“He needs time. Like your hair.”
“I don’t understand.”
“If you just woke up and left the house without doing a single thing to your hair would it look great?”
“No. It would probably look terrible.”
“If you took a shower, got out, put on clothes and left the house without doing anything to your hair, would it look good?”
“No. It would be wet and tangled.”
“So, in order to get it how you like, you have to wash it, dry it, brush it, maybe put some product in it…right?”
“Yeah.”
“That probably takes a good amount of time, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Does it always look exactly how you want it to look when you do all of that?”
“No. Sometimes it’s exactly how I like it, but it’s never perfect.”
“Exactly.”
“Exactly?”
“You can’t expect Mark to just get out of bed and be perfect. Like your hair he takes time…washing it, drying it, brushing it. Mark’s a pretty layered guy. He may not appear like that on the surface but he is. He’s not gonna just stop drinking and start remembering everything, and do everything you want him to. Like your hair, he’ll never be perfect. But the more time you listen to him and spend time with him, the more willing he’ll be, like your hair, to cooperate.”
“Wow. I never thought of it like that.”
“If you don’t like your hair you’d just cut it off, right?”
“But I really do like my hair.”
“Well if you really like Mark, you’ll accept that he’s never going to be perfect…otherwise cut him off.”
Leo really put everything into perspective. I would have never thought about that the way he did. He was a really insightful guy. He really cared about things. That’s a rare trait to find in a guy. I felt kind of bad for him. He was the only one on the trip who seemed to really care about everyone having a good time. And in return, all it did, was make him the one most miserable.
“You’re a good guy, Leo.”
“Thanks,” he said.
“Really. You are. You seem to put others before you, and that’s not something you find in a lot of people.”
“I just want everyone to be happy,” he said, starting to turn the music back up.
“There’s only so much you can do for other people. You gotta start trying to make yourself happy sometimes.”
“I know,” he said.
“If you want to talk about anything just let me know.”
“Thanks. I will…Now go and wash your hair, it looks awful,” he said with a half smile.
I washed up, ate dinner, hung out around the fire with Bengi and Alyssa, and then went to sleep in the backseat of Mark’s car again. I woke up to Mark tapping on the window. He apologized and asked if I wanted to lay with him. I said yes. Then we talked. I mean I had to start washing, drying and brushing the hair if I was going to get him how I wanted him to be.

ALYSSA
I was just sitting there with Bengi and this guy Todd from a few campsites down, having a good conversation, when Leo threw another one of his tantrums. The guy was inviting me to his campsite for some of his wine, because I had run out. I wouldn’t have needed to get more wine if Leo would’ve just bought two jugs instead of one. He knows that I like Chablis in the big jug. And I told him two—not one and a box of Franzia. He listened to everything else I said, except for the only thing that mattered.
He came out of his tent, opened a beer, started cooking a hotdog, and acted like a total jerk to Todd. And Todd was a nice guy. We met him on the river when we were canoeing and he happened to be just two sites down. He brought over his own beer and sausages, and offered them to everyone.
I was gonna throw Leo in that river right behind Todd if Bengi wouldn’t have held me back. By the time Bengi let me go Leo was waving the fire poking stick around like was going to swing it at anyone who came near him. I feel so bad for Todd. I hope he’s still around in the morning before we leave, because I’m gonna apologize. He said he doesn’t live too far from Cedar Falls either, so I’ll give him my phone number, too. He seemed like a fun guy. He was pretty funny, and I’m sure he’d be great to hang out with back home.
So I went to the tent. Bengi had already crawled in when I got there. I was boiling hot. I wanted to go back out there and lay into Leo. I wanted to tell him how crazy he was, and that he needed help. That he should stay out of other people’s business. That was one of the most annoying things about him—he was always sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. Bengi held me back, though. He had a way of calming me down. For the second straight night I ended up falling asleep right next to him.

BENGI
If Leo didn’t throw that guy in the river I was going to. He was a total creep. We first saw him on the river when we were canoeing and he wouldn’t let us be. He paddled alongside us for the last five miles it seemed, and then just invited himself over. He said he had a bunch of beer and some food for everyone. He brought a six pack and two sausages. That guy was bad news from the jump.
He really crossed the line when he invited Alyssa back to his campsite. He said he had a couple bottles of wine over there, but just an hour before that he said he only drank beer. Alyssa was pretty drunk so I can understand how she missed that. But I’m a guy and I know guys, and that was just a ploy to get her over there. Anyways, he had a ton of nerve. There were three guys and two girls, chances are she was taken, but this guy just kept trying and trying.
When Leo came out I knew it would be the end of him. Leo doesn’t mess around when it comes to protecting girls—he’s got three sisters. I’ve seen him be a little bit overprotective, but I can’t entirely blame him. He’s a guy, and he knows how guys think. I was sort of relieved, to tell you the truth, that Leo came out when he did. He ended looking like the bad guy, not me. I thought Alyssa was gonna attack Leo so I held her back. Then I went to the tent. I was drunk, exhausted, and I just wanted to get some sleep. I told Alyssa to calm down and come to bed. Even if Leo got rid of that guy, hanging out wouldn’t be fun anymore.
As I crawled into the tent I woke up Smitty. He had been sleeping all day, so I didn’t feel bad. It actually worked out perfectly because he got up and left just as Alyssa was climbing in.

SMITTY
I woke up around 2 AM in the tent. Bengi was trying to climb over me to get into his sleeping bag and he nearly trampled me. I guess I had slept the entire day away. I got up and walked outside. Near the campfire I could hear arguing going on. I started to walk towards it when Alyssa came stomping past me, and into the tent. Then I saw Leo standing near the fire, and it looked like he was taunting the river. How drunk was he?
Then I saw a body emerge from the river, covered in mud and dirt.
“That should teach you,” Leo said to some guy I had never even seen before.
“You’re crazy!” the guy yelled back, waving something in his hand as he started towards Leo. Leo effortlessly threw him back to the ground.
“I don’t want anything to do with that girl, man,” the guy said, desperate to get out of the mud.
“Just go back to your site,” Leo said, “And don’t come back over here.”
The guy got up, started to walk away, and then made a quick rush at Leo, whose back was turned. So I stepped in and stopped him. The guy looked at me, realized he was in over his head and started walking back through the woods to his campsite.
“What was that all about?” I asked Leo as I sat down in a lawn chair next to him.
“He was being obnoxious…saying some things to Alyssa. Asking her to come back to his tent.” He poked at the fire.
“What was she saying?”
“You know her, man…she was just going along with it. She loves the attention.”
“You gotta let her go, man,” I said to him.
“I know. It’s just hard to watch her openly flirt with other guys right in front of me.”
“Just don’t hang out with her after this trip…that’s all.”
“I’m not going to. I’ve had it. I guess it was more about territory with that guy than anything. Imagine if some guy was over here doing the same thing with Mandy.”
“I’d kill him…but she’s my girlfriend.”
“For now,” he said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He cracked open a beer, threw another log on the fire and said, “It means that you’ve got a good girl, Smitty. She’s a real good girl. She might seem a little bit overwhelming at times. You might think that she’s asking for a lot, but she’s not. She just wants you to be there. She doesn’t expect you to be perfect. If you don’t want that…if you just don’t want to be bothered by the hassles of a relationship then don’t be. But I’ll tell you this much, girls like Mandy don’t come around often in college. She really likes you, and she only gets on your case because she wants to see the best out of you. Don’t misinterpret that for being nagging or annoying.”
“Sounds like you’ve really thought this through,” I said. The guy knew more about my relationship than I did.
“There’s good and there’s bad…in everything. You may have a perfect date with a girl, but you’ll never have a perfect relationship. Just like a pitcher might throw a perfect game, but he’ll never go an entire season without giving up a few runs and walking a few guys. He’ll probably lose a game or two, but without his catcher he won’t win a single game, let alone the World Series.”
Now he was talking my language. I get baseball.
“Just like a good pitcher needs a good catcher, a relationship needs a good girl and a good guy.”
“So she’s the catcher? Why does she get to call all of the shots?”
“Because that’s how it works. Girls call the shots. But you can always brush off a sign here and there…call your own pitch. Sometimes you may battle over that, but she’ll always come to the mound for a conference. You know why?”
“She likes to talk.”
“No. Well, maybe a little. But it actually means that she’s concerned…she cares whether or not you give up a home run on the next pitch. She’s concerned because she wants the entire team to win…to see how far the team can make it.”
I never would have gotten that message had I not sat down with Leo. He was always good for making things clear. He had a gift for putting things in a way that I could relate. Mandy was a good girl, and she did love me. Of course she was a little needy here and there, but what girl isn’t? I had never been in a relationship before her, and I guess I thought I was missing out on my single days. But Leo was right. I was on a good team. I may have wanted to be a free agent again if I was on a bad team, but I wasn’t.
“That all makes a lot of sense,” I said to Leo, “I need to apologize to my catcher.”
“If she’ll get out of your car, you guys can have my tent, I may not even go to sleep tonight…but no hanky panky, alright? That was my parents’ tent…it’s kind of special to me.”
I walked up to the car, knocked on the window, and she actually opened the door.
“Wanna be my catcher?” I asked.
“What? You think I’m gonna just hop in the—
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry. It’s something Leo said. Anyway, I’ve been an idiot all weekend, but it is our anniversary and I’d like to just lay next to you. Leo said we could sleep in his tent.”
“I accept your apology…just don’t do it again,” she said, and we went to Leo’s tent.
We actually talked all night. Leo was right, I had a good girl, and I didn’t want to lose that. We made an agreement, too. Every time we would go somewhere she wanted, she had to then go to a football or baseball game with me. Thank God for Leo. That guy should be a marriage counselor, or a general manager of a baseball team—that’d be way more fun.

LEO
I have to admit, throwing that guy in the river was the highlight of my trip. I just don’t care much for guys like that. He was drunk and rude and obnoxious. I didn’t even know where he came from, but he thought he was a real hotshot. I was gonna let the whole thing ride until he started insulting me. Of course I didn’t want Alyssa going over to his site with him, alone, in the middle of the night, in a dark campground. I wouldn’t have let Mandy go over there in that situation. So, I offered to walk over there with the two of them and help carry the wine back. That’s when he set me off. He made some wise crack about how I was the over-protective ex-boyfriend, and that he could see why she broke up with me. He said if I was a real man like he was I wouldn’t have to worry about her thinking about other guys.
Two things struck me at that moment: they had obviously been sitting around that fire for some time cracking jokes on my behalf, and that he was on my turf. First of all, I don’t go for anyone insulting me, and secondly, not on my turf. So I walked over to him, pushed him backwards, off of his lawn chair, and when he got up I shoved him the additional three feet over the small ridge where the river started. For added fun I grabbed the poking stick and began waving it around like a madman. Sometimes you just have to entertain yourself.
I got rid of the guy, sent Bengi and Alyssa to their tent, and I cracked open a beer. It was my first beer of the night, and boy did it taste good. Smitty came over and sat by the fire with me. I talked to him a little bit about Mandy. I told him he should just look in his heart. I think she’s a good girl, and since they had been together he was far happier than when he was single. I think I might’ve knocked some sense into him because he apologized to her and they took my tent for the night.
I just sat by the fire, poking at it, and throwing an additional log or two on when it was getting low. I thought about a lot of things. I thought about baseball, football, basketball, about how I didn’t get to go fishing, or how we never sat around and played cards just the three of us guys. Most of all, I tried to have my guys weekend for once—right there, at that fire, by myself. It was very relieving. I thought about how girls change everything. I don’t want to say ruin, but they definitely throw things off course. I was 21-years-old and I only had about a year of college left, and the last thing I wanted to do was spend it worrying about girls. So I made a pact with myself at that fire. When I got back to school I would finish my Italian class with Alyssa—wash and cut that tangled clump of hair right off—and I’d become a free agent again. But not the kind of free agent who is looking for a team to sign with immediately, rather a free agent who wants to take a season off, planning on playing again when the time was right.